MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
God created humankind as male and female. First, God formed man (Adam) from the dust of the ground. After God breathed His Spirit into him, man came to life. Then, God formed woman (Eve) from one of the man's ribs. Although men and women differ both in terms of gender and personality, they are both made in God's image. Thus, men and women are equal before God. God created man and woman to be clearly recognizable by their specific physical characteristics. Furthermore, God gave them different gifts and strengths with which they were to serve and complement one another in love.
God appointed man to be the head. This means that God gives him the responsibility to care for his wife and children, to protect them, and to make conscientious decisions for their well-being. According to God's plan, women were to be a help to men, supporting them with advice and support. At the same time, they were to recognize his God-given role as head of the family and trustingly submit to his leadership. Together, man and woman should form one unit (literally: "one flesh").
This covenant, which the Bible calls marriage, serves as a symbol for the relationship between God and us humans. According to God's will, the marital union between a man and his wife is intended to last a lifetime. God's commandments and ordinances for marriage are intended to enable husband and wife to live together harmoniously and protect them from strife and harm. At the same time, the marriage between a man and his wife is the basis for family and the upbringing of children. God, however, does not recognize other forms of family and relationship. In most cultures, weddings are accompanied by a ceremonial celebration in which the groom and bride exchange their vows in front of witnesses. This is associated with the promise to love their future spouse and to remain faithful to them for life. The actual marriage is usually preceded by an engagement in which the man and woman publicly declare their decision to commit to one another.
Through humankind's rebellion against their Creator, God's perfect order for life and marriage has been increasingly destroyed. Meanwhile, casual relationships, same-sex partnerships, prostitution, and other forms of sexual relations that contradict God's will are increasingly becoming the norm. This development can be observed particularly in Europe and the USA. More and more "churches" are also supporting this trend, for example, by blessing or marrying same-sex couples. In doing so, they arbitrarily disregard God's will. The consequences of turning away from God's holy marriage commandments are painful relationship experiences, broken families, and the loss of natural gender identity. The number of divorces has been increasing in Western industrialized countries for decades, as has the spread of various sexually transmitted diseases, which kill numerous people each year.
Jesus explicitly states that the marriage bond between two people, joined by God, should not be severed by man. God permits remarriage following divorce only under certain circumstances:
1.
When one spouse has been sexually unfaithful to the other. In such a case, God gives the betrayed partner the right to separate and enter into a new relationship, since the marriage bond was already severed by the other partner's infidelity.
2.
When an unbeliever leaves their believing partner or enters into a new relationship with another person, a Christian is no longer bound to the unbelieving partner.
3.
When the spouse dies. Because with the death of the partner, the marriage bond also expires.
God basically disapproves of divorce. In rare cases—such as sexual abuse or physical or emotional violence—a temporary or permanent separation may be necessary. Before a husband and wife consider divorce, they should definitely seek the help of Christian marriage counseling. After an argument, husband and wife should strive for peace and reconciliation. If both partners sincerely ask God for help and are willing to follow His instructions, challenges and conflicts can be overcome, and the marriage can be preserved.
So-called polygamy—that is, marriage between one man and several women—as practiced in both Judaism and Islam to this day, was tolerated by God only for a limited time, similar to remarriage after divorce. This temporary arrangement ended with the appearance of Jesus Christ, who taught us God's will as it originally was. The New Testament explicitly emphasizes the fundamental idea of marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman. Thus, both polygamy and remarriage (except in cases of sexual infidelity), as well as other forms of sexual relations, are expressly excluded.
The Bible teaches that love is not a feeling, but a decision that always has the best interests of one's spouse in mind. While the strong emotions in the initial stages of falling in love come and go, the responsibility people assume for each other by saying "I do" remains with God for a lifetime. In this sense, true love is not revealed by how people feel about each other, but by how they treat each other, regardless of their feelings. A constant connection with God enables married couples to continually grow in their love for one another and to overcome any challenges together in faith.
For those who already believe, God commands that marriage should only take place "in the Lord." This means that a single Christian may only marry someone who professes faith in Jesus and obeys His commandments. Ultimately, faith in God forms the basis for a happy marriage according to God's will. Since marriage is meant to last a lifetime, this decision should not be made lightly, but rather carefully considered and accompanied by prayer. Ideally, husband and wife should allow God to reveal their future spouse to them, as God knows best which people are compatible with each other.
Whoever heeds God's commandments, his marriage will be blessed by God.
So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Ihr habt gehört, dass gesagt ist: »Du sollst nicht ehebrechen.« Ich aber sage euch: Wer eine Frau (eines anderen) ansieht, sie zu begehren, der hat schon mit ihr die Ehe gebrochen in seinem Herzen.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (...) Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.